Lana Lockhart and Chris Griffin K-I-S-S-I-N-G
by YahooSounding
Summary: An alternate take on the Family Guy series, focusing on what would happen if the Lockharts lived where Herbert was. What would change in terms of Chris Griffin and the Griffin family? One thing's for sure, Chris won't be able to get that sexy minx Lana Lockhart out of his mind! Chris x Lana Lockhart; Meg x Quagmire


Time for another Lana Lockhart story, with Chris Griffin as her boyfriend! I can't help it, my Chris Griffin x Lana Lockhart plot bunnies just have to get out one way or another!

* * *

Chris Griffin was on a paper route, delivering papers around town as he looked around. He smiled a bit as he seemed to be getting close... just a few more dollars and he'll be able to buy Barbara a gift for her birthday party...

As he turned the corner, and pulled out the next paper to throw, he suddenly noticed someone walking out of the house he was about to deliver the paper to as he stopped his bike. Chris blinked a few times when he noticed a very beautiful blonde haired woman walking out of the house. The blonde had a very busty look to her, wearing a red top with two buttons on the side, and a nice black skirt that fit her nice and tight. Chris's mouth dropped at the sight of her as she walked down the sidewalk.

The woman immediately noticed the boy biking over and gave a smile to him. "Well, well, good morning. You must be the new paperboy."

"Er, w-well, y-yes..." Chris blushed as he handed her the paper.

The woman smiled as she put the paper in her bosom. "Thank you very much. Sorry, my husband is usually still sleeping at this hour, but I have to get up very early just to do a lot of the things he should be doing. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm rambling."

"Er, that's okay, ma'am. You look very bus- I mean, beautiful!" Chris blushed.

The woman giggled. "Oh, thank you. I mean, I get it a lot, but to hear it from you, I'm not sure why, but it feels pretty nice. Anyway, you have to forgive me, my husband and I just moved into town. We recently got this house from an old pervert who used to live here and we're hoping to make some new accommodations."

Chris blushed a bit as he looked at his watch. "Well, it's good to meet you, er..."

"Lockhart. Call me Mrs. Lockhart." The woman gave a smile. "My friends call me Lana."

"Lana... that's a nice name." Chris said... as he nervously shouted, "I'm CHRIS!"

"Chris..." Lana paused as she nodded. "Well, I better get myself settled in. See you tomorrow, Chris?"

"Until tomorrow." Chris said as he biked off as Lana Lockhart watched him go on his way.

She gave a warm smile as Lana smirked. "Hmmm... yes, he seems pretty cute..."

* * *

As Chris continued delivering papers, he couldn't help but think about the meeting he had with that beautiful woman... as he looked surprised. He briefly wondered why he even talked with her and even stared at her. Chris groaned as he held his head... he had never felt so awkward in his life. There she was, the most beautiful human being he has ever seen in his life... but no, he was more focused on Barbara right now!

He took a deep breath as he kept cycling. He would just have to forget about that beautiful woman for now, no matter how beautiful she was... that Lana Lockhart...

* * *

Unfortunately, that night at Barbara's birthday party was a disaster as Chris was looking down, still delivering papers the next day. And when he turned the corner, he stopped short as he noticed the same woman walking out of said house and looking up at him with a smile on her face.

"Good morning, Chris." Lana Lockhart smiled as she went over to him. She raised an eyebrow noticing the sad face on Chris's face. "Are you okay?"

Chris sighed as he explained, "Oh, it's this girl. I can't talk to her. It's like girls are a different species or something!"

Lana sighs as she mutters, "Poor confused teenagers... why don't you tell me all about her?"

And so, Chris decided to tell Lana Lockhart everything about Barbara, up to the mess-up at the birthday party. "And I really thought I was doing the right thing. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong."

"Oh, dear Chris, you're just acting a little awkward. Girls don't like men who are pushy... or aim perfume wrongly in their eyes." Lana Lockhart explained.

Chris rolled his eyes and sighed. "I wish I knew that now..."

"Well, don't worry about it. Maybe you just need help with talking to girls. I mean, you're talking to me just fine." Lana Lockhart smiled.

Chris paused as he thought about it. "Huh. I guess I never thought about it that way."

"I'll tell you what. Why don't I talk with your parents and you can come on over for a private tutoring session about girls." Lana offered.

Chris stared in surprise as he said, "Are you sure that'll be all right?"

"Oh, don't worry. My husband's not at home during the days, and I am a teacher back in my hometown. And I think I'm applying to be a substitute teacher for your school. So, I'll tell you what. You finish up your route, and I'll be waiting by your house. What's your address?" Lana Lockhart asked.

Chris paused as he put his hand on his chin, thinking about it. "Er, well, if you think you can help me talk to girls..."

"Chris, I assure you, by the time I'm done with you, you'll be a brand new man." Lana giggled.

"Well... okay. I'll finish the route and head home right away." Chris said as he handed Lana Lockhart the paper and whispered his address to her ear. He then went back on his bike as he pedaled off. "See you later, Mrs. Lockhart!"

"Good-bye, Chris!" Lana waved as she put the paper in her bosom and gave a contented smile. "Oh yes, now I definitely know you're the one for sure..."

* * *

Sorry for the short prologue, but I have to end this chapter! Next time, Lana gives Chris some pointers about women!


End file.
